Wiley: Last minute costume ideas for a Halloween procrastinator

It’s the night before Halloween and you’ve just been invited to a party.  The only problem is you have to wear a costume and you don’t have one.  Well don’t freak out, I have a few clever ideas that I have accumulated over the years that will help you in a flash.

First, let’s do a few don’ts of Halloween costumes:

1. Don’t go out and spend a ton of money.  You are never going to wear the costume again. Let’s face it, being Honey Boo Boo won’t work next Halloween.  Most of the expensive costumes are based on pop culture references that can’t be reused.
2. Don’t go as something obscure that no one is going to understand.  You want your costume to be recognizable.  No one wants to listen to your 20 minute explanation about how you are that one guy from that one movie. 

Now if you are still with me and not running to return that $100 sexy Snooki costume, I have a few inexpensive, clever last minute costume ideas.

Here are a few for the girls:

1. Go as one of the characters of Bridesmaids.  All of us probably have an old prom dress or Homecoming dress that the sales associate promised ‘we could totally wear again’.  Well here’s your chance! Make sure you also have a flask and mess up your hair and make-up.  Look a little trashy!
2. You can be Rosie the Riveter. You know, the one from the ‘We can do it!’ posters.  All you’ll need is a denim shirt (there’s one at Marshall’s on clearance) and a red and white polka dot bandanna. Voila! You have completed an awesome costume, but make sure you walk around flexing every second you get!
3. What about Toddlers in Tiaras?  All you will need is a shorter cocktail dress (the puffier the better), a binky, some pixie sticks and a tiara.  Throw a few tantrums throughout the night and you might just win the Grand Supreme title.

Now I don’t want to leave the guys out:

1. Go as the Brawny man!  All you need is a flannel shirt, jeans and some work boots.  It can’t get any simpler or guy proof than that. Let everyone know that you have “The Strength to Get Things Done!” Girls will swoon.
2. What about Mark Zuckerburg? Go grab that grey t-shirt, black zipper hoodie and jeans.  It’s a plus if you can make yourself a Facebook logo or name tag.  Don’t want to be too obscure!
3. Finally, you could always go as Danny Zuko.  Go to Wal-Mart and find a white t-shirt in your size. Now buy the shirt two sizes down and put on your darkest pair of blue jeans.  Make sure to have large amounts of gel in your hair, and for added bonus, roll up a carton of cigarettes in your t-shirt sleeve.  Grease Lightning!