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Wiley: How to enjoy living the single life

Staff Reporter

Published: Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Updated: Tuesday, November 27, 2012 00:11

Provided by Ally Wiley

Provided by Ally Wiley

Dear Ally,

I have just recently broken up with someone.  I know it was the right decision, and I don’t want to get back with him, but I feel so lonely.  All my friends have significant others, and a lot of the time I feel like a third wheel.  What should I do to feel less lonely and get my friends to quit making me the third wheel?


Forever Alone


Dear Forever Alone,

First off, congratulations on deciding that you made the right decision and not going back to your ex. That’s the first step to getting away from your past and starting a new future.  Everyone is looking for that special someone, and if you stay caught up with an ex, your future someone may walk right past you.  If you know that it’s over, you need to put all of that in the past and move on. Be strong!

 Second, I think you should enjoy the hell out of being single.  I can think of a whole laundry list of pros to being single.  I just recently got out of a relationship and have learned all the great things singlehood has to offer, like choosing whatever you want on television.  You get to decide where you eat and what movie you see.  You have more time to hang out with friends.  Also, you can finally go to that play he refused to see with you. You can flirt with those mega-hotties two tables down and not feel an ounce of remorse. Finally, you can drool all over Channing Tatum in ‘Magic Mike’ or Anne Hathaway in ‘Batman’ and not feel like you cheated.  

Everyone needs time to learn what they want in a relationship. So use this time to do just that. Find yourself. This can help you feel less lonely by going out and finding what you love to do in the world.  Go enjoy your favorite hobby or go to that movie you have been dying to see.  Don’t worry about finding someone.  This is the most cliché statement in the world, but the moment you quit looking is the moment that person will stroll into your life.  So for now, enjoy your friends and your freedom while getting to know yourself.

Finally, as for being the third wheel, you need to stand up for yourself.  If you feel like a third wheel, say something.  Your friends may not know what they are doing.  Sometimes when you are friends with both parties of the couple, they just think they are being there for you.  You shouldn’t feel like a third wheel if this is what is happening, they are just trying to be friends.  The problem happens when they start hanging all over each other. 

First, you need to say something and tell them that this makes you uncomfortable. If that doesn’t work, you can throw anything soft at them. They should get the hint.

The most important part of this advice is to be happy.  You deserve it. Don’t forget that.



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