Socha: Differences between men and women are frustrating yet productive

In the past few months, a universal truth has become more apparent to me: men and women think and react differently. This is obvious in some scenarios, such as sports appreciation, but other times thought processes and reactions are more subtle. 

On Aug. 31, 2012, I became engaged. That evening, our families celebrated together at one of our favorite restaurants and the differences of concerns were obvious. The women were asking what ideas I had for the wedding, even though we hadn’t been engaged for eight hours. Meanwhile, the men at the table were already talking about the “ball-and-chain” scenario and the bachelor party.

I couldn’t believe the differences; shouldn’t everyone be excited for a wedding? Yet, this scenario of women being detail-oriented and men looking at one thing at a time kept repeating itself throughout the following weeks.

As I started to think over my life and the concept of thinking differently, I was able to pinpoint things I hadn’t noticed before. The first time I got a ticket for speeding, my mother was livid. She kept repeating “You’re never going to drive again!” On the other hand, my father, though upset, really wasn’t that angry with me.

Come to find out, when he was 16, he had a few speeding tickets on his record as well. So, as a result, he went easy on my siblings and me when we got our first traffic infractions. When I asked him about it, he simply responded, “How could I chastise you when I did the same thing?” He also told me that it was forgiven, while my mother held it over my head for a few years.

Men forgive and forget. This is apparently unspoken knowledge in the “man universe,” but as a woman, a detail-oriented individual, this is unheard of. A woman’s mind is wired to forget as little information as possible, which results in us holding grudges and recalling events that happened five years ago in an argument over something that happened five minutes ago.

Men see this as outrageous and practice this act as little as possible, yet women see it as completely normal. Men do not see the point in paying five hundred dollars for a purse, but women see how the purse can be used with different outfits and color schemes. Women think it’s outrageous to spend over a thousand dollars on a 60” TV, yet men see only the size and not really the price, once again repeating the singular focus ideal.

Now, this is not to say one sex is better than the other, or one is right and the other is wrong. It’s simply to point out that each sex cannot truly chastise the other just because they don’t think alike.

But there is great benefit to this: two opposing views can actually accomplish more when used in sync. Basically, using both views can cover all the bases instead of half the field.