Rest-of-the-semester-itis has officially set in

For the most part if you are reading this you probably have made it not only through a semester and a half but have in fact returned to campus after spring break. To some this may seem miniscule but to those of us who did nothing but work and entertain company over the all-to-brief break, this is a feat not easily preformed by the gods.

Exhaustion has officially set in and there seems to be not enough hours in the day to get done what we must. While everyone scrambles to finalize graduation plans, turn in essays, go to work, and study for finals the inevitable happens and many of us succumb to the utter distraction that is sleep.

I know that I can’t be the only one feeling the pressures of the last quarter of the year. Sure maybe I don’t fall asleep until 5 every morning and miss my 8 am classes far too often thanks to a horrendous amount of studying and extracurricular activities, but I can’t be alone. Right?

What I’m getting at here is really that I just don’t care anymore. I can’t. If I did I’d have to get up at the same time I pass out to bathe, do makeup and hair and practice my intrigued face. Honestly, I have no idea how so many of you do it. Between work, school, financial issues and debate I have found myself with a major deficit in the department of fucks to give.

People tend to confuse this stress overload with an impermeable layer of relaxation, when in fact it happens to just be a mini-stroke.

I walked into this year with the bright-eyed disbelief that so many freshman display and have been quickly worn down into a pile of mush and dust by the constant grindstone that is college.

It takes every bit of my energy just to punch my alarm clock across the room every morning, followed by the tantalizing adventure that is putting on pants and actually attending classes.

Ultimately, we must accept the drought of sleeplessness, reach for the mecca of energy that is Red Bull and coffee, just to attend test days. I’m not going to tell you that you eventually get used to the pains of never sleeping, because, as every adult has been sure to inform me, you don’t.

Instead, I will tell you that enduring the delirium for these last few weeks means that you can plop down onto your couch and wear a dent in it as you sleep until next semester. Not to mention the bonus of pants being optional.